On Thursday evening one contender for the title of the Roberts Wolfson Investement Challenge Champion, Meg Roberts, went missing. Meg, who until Thursday held an uncontested lead, vanished inexplicably. The Blog has spoken to Meg's clostest friend, ally and advisor, Toby Roberts. Toby said, "Woof! Woof woof woof. Woof, woof woof, woof woof." He seemed very concerned about Meg's disapperance. However, he has officially endorsed Lily Roberts due to her support of his favorite company, Petsmart. Lily has welcomed this endorsement. She has vowed to learn the definition of endorsement.
Sam finds it very convenient that Meg's mysterious disappearance has coincided with his move to the top of the leader board. The Blog has already began investigating Sam's involvement with said disappearance. Below is a transcript of a telephone interview with Sam Roberts.
TB: Where were you on the night of the 23rd, the night of Meg's disappearance?
SLR: Rachel's?
TB: Why do you ask?
SLR: Because I did it! I'm sorry! Oh the horror!
There you have it, folks. The Blog puts another dastardly evil-doer behind bars.
In other news, Ben doesn't have car and Echo has received Facebook. If there was any doubt as to who was cooler, the debate has concluded. Echo wins!
Endorsements:
Sam: Martha Stewart
Meg: Amelia Earhardt
Lily: Toby Roberts
Mike: Dot Roberts
Marvin: Yogi Berra
Charlie: Sam Roberts**
Steven: Paul Cohen
**Please note, Sam's formal endorsement of Charlie officially passes all positive gains, made by Sam, to Charlie.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
Fear of Mike's Comeback Unfounded
Over the past few days the sense of terror and impending doom has gripped our courageous combatants. A less knowledgeable blog might attribute this fear to Lily's new Facebook account, a day that will certainly live in infamy. But The Blog, with its tireless band of researchers, research assistants, interns and trained monkeys, has come to a different conclusion. In fact, our intrepid investors have all come to fear one thing: the unknowable beast called Mike Wolfson.
Things began innocuously enough, when Mike privatized his portfolio. Rumors flew every which way. Was he buying up shares of Harley Davidson by the thousands? Had he sold everything, in the hopes of weathering the storm. Marvin commented, saying, "This is a big one. A huge move. One of epic proportions. Definitely, definitely an impactful decision. Yes, indeed." Other, perhaps, more articulate and wise persons believed Mike was merely shorting the market. Thus, when the market took a drastic turn down, Mike's portfolio appeared to rise in thrilling fashion.
Some of the less hardy investors were spotted at CVS purchasing large rolls of duct tape, bottles of water and Migralex. Despite these fears, The Blog noticed that Mike remains in distant 6th place. Only Marvin lags behind.
It's too early to say for sure whether Mike can or cannot stage such an enormous comeback. But The Blog is certain of one thing: today was not his day.
In other news, everyone besides Meg floundered.
Endorsements:
Sam: Nemo
Charlie: Dori
Lily: Mark Zuckerberg
Ben: Marlin
Steven: Crush the Turle
Mike: Bruce the Shark
Meg: The Breakwater
Things began innocuously enough, when Mike privatized his portfolio. Rumors flew every which way. Was he buying up shares of Harley Davidson by the thousands? Had he sold everything, in the hopes of weathering the storm. Marvin commented, saying, "This is a big one. A huge move. One of epic proportions. Definitely, definitely an impactful decision. Yes, indeed." Other, perhaps, more articulate and wise persons believed Mike was merely shorting the market. Thus, when the market took a drastic turn down, Mike's portfolio appeared to rise in thrilling fashion.
Some of the less hardy investors were spotted at CVS purchasing large rolls of duct tape, bottles of water and Migralex. Despite these fears, The Blog noticed that Mike remains in distant 6th place. Only Marvin lags behind.
It's too early to say for sure whether Mike can or cannot stage such an enormous comeback. But The Blog is certain of one thing: today was not his day.
In other news, everyone besides Meg floundered.
Endorsements:
Sam: Nemo
Charlie: Dori
Lily: Mark Zuckerberg
Ben: Marlin
Steven: Crush the Turle
Mike: Bruce the Shark
Meg: The Breakwater
Friday, July 4, 2008
Error in game
Hey guys, I have mentioned to both Charlie and Ben about my issues with orders but today was the topper...
I purchased a mutual fund on Thursday night knowing the market had already closed and would appear in my portfolio on Monday. I checked a couple of minutes ago to see that it bought it at Thursday's closing price and that individual holding of mine is down almost $8,000 with the market not even open. This is an error and should have been bought at the open price on Monday when the market resumes with no gain or loss.
Anyone have any suggestions? Obviously, that's an enormous loss that should not have happened, which makes me a little frustrated. Just thought, I should let everyone know.
- Mike
I purchased a mutual fund on Thursday night knowing the market had already closed and would appear in my portfolio on Monday. I checked a couple of minutes ago to see that it bought it at Thursday's closing price and that individual holding of mine is down almost $8,000 with the market not even open. This is an error and should have been bought at the open price on Monday when the market resumes with no gain or loss.
Anyone have any suggestions? Obviously, that's an enormous loss that should not have happened, which makes me a little frustrated. Just thought, I should let everyone know.
- Mike
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Day 4: Lunchtime Report
The market took a sharp turn for the something today. Profits, winnings, success and net worth increased for some and decreased for others. The some were the Roberts. The others were the Wolfsons. The women were Lily and Meg, for whom forks in the road are merely cutlery.
As we all know, investing is not an exact science. However, when polled, nine out of ten scientist randomly selected from a variety of fields ranging from entymology to astrophysics (and including Wrigley Field) agreed that Marvin's portfolio was, at 12:31, down 7.89%. 100% of polled scientists agreed that Marvin will need to try harder. Further studies disproved the existence of any correlation between the investment skillz possessed by Marvin and his namesake, Marvin Schwartz. The National Enquirer reports that these studies have been funded by Mr. Schwartz in an effort to distance himself from the Marvin of this game. The Blog, however, doubts the integrity of the National Enquirer's sources, since they are, in fact, The Blog. (The Blog may or may not have maybe not, but maybe, made up the above statistics.)
The Turtle/Tortoise seems to have fallen on its shell. But The Blog is confident that he will find his way back to his feet shortly. This is because his feet are quite large, and therefore, the odds suggest a favorable outcome. 60% of the time he will land on his feet. They're just that big. (The other 40% of the time he is rumored to land on his nose.)
The investor formerly, and still, known as Mike is far too closely related to Marvin for his own good. His alleged genius has clearly been sabotaged. The Blog has nothing to do with said sabotage and is currently researching the saboteur. (The Blog suspects Lily.)
Hot rod Lily controls her position in second place with gusto. Her crawl to last place is slow enough that she may not make it in just six months. She's currently moving to extend the game. Her determination is unparalleled. Keep going Lily!
Sam's portfolio is the clear winner today. The Blog is confused by this. He spends too much time reading and thinking to be a good Republican investor. Marvin is even more perplexed than the blog.
That's all for now, you know you love The Blog, XOXO,
GOSSIP BLOG
Today's endorsements:
Meg: Glacier National Park
Lily: The Blog!
Charlie: John Kerry
Sam: The Nasdaq
Marvin: Starvin' Marvin
Steven: Splinter
Mike: J. Edgar Hoover
As we all know, investing is not an exact science. However, when polled, nine out of ten scientist randomly selected from a variety of fields ranging from entymology to astrophysics (and including Wrigley Field) agreed that Marvin's portfolio was, at 12:31, down 7.89%. 100% of polled scientists agreed that Marvin will need to try harder. Further studies disproved the existence of any correlation between the investment skillz possessed by Marvin and his namesake, Marvin Schwartz. The National Enquirer reports that these studies have been funded by Mr. Schwartz in an effort to distance himself from the Marvin of this game. The Blog, however, doubts the integrity of the National Enquirer's sources, since they are, in fact, The Blog. (The Blog may or may not have maybe not, but maybe, made up the above statistics.)
The Turtle/Tortoise seems to have fallen on its shell. But The Blog is confident that he will find his way back to his feet shortly. This is because his feet are quite large, and therefore, the odds suggest a favorable outcome. 60% of the time he will land on his feet. They're just that big. (The other 40% of the time he is rumored to land on his nose.)
The investor formerly, and still, known as Mike is far too closely related to Marvin for his own good. His alleged genius has clearly been sabotaged. The Blog has nothing to do with said sabotage and is currently researching the saboteur. (The Blog suspects Lily.)
Hot rod Lily controls her position in second place with gusto. Her crawl to last place is slow enough that she may not make it in just six months. She's currently moving to extend the game. Her determination is unparalleled. Keep going Lily!
Sam's portfolio is the clear winner today. The Blog is confused by this. He spends too much time reading and thinking to be a good Republican investor. Marvin is even more perplexed than the blog.
That's all for now, you know you love The Blog, XOXO,
GOSSIP BLOG
Today's endorsements:
Meg: Glacier National Park
Lily: The Blog!
Charlie: John Kerry
Sam: The Nasdaq
Marvin: Starvin' Marvin
Steven: Splinter
Mike: J. Edgar Hoover
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
the economy suffers and so does charlie's job at echo b/c he does nothing
All there is to say today is wow. This "wow" is aimed more towards charlie for writing such a blog that probably took more then half the day at the echo office to write. He prob spent more time on this blog then he did working on those pointless excel sheets. Just keep clicking hte sort button, come on charlie. Back to the game, charlie the thing what you have is i believe called luck. I do have to admit your writing skills are atsounding. Since your vocabulary is at a much stronger level then I's lol, I will have to try very hard to sound good to you. Also, something i found very humorous is your only interest at your job at ECHO is this game and not your actualy work. Your parents would be very dissapointed with your decision. Also, you are definitely geting overpaid for all the work oyu don't do at ECHO. Take care everybody... peace... love.. and ..vagina or happiness.... I forget which one it is.. happiness or vagina.. good luck everyone...
What the Market Giveth, the Market Also Taketh Away
Today's events have unfolded slowly, and painfully for the majority of our investors and loyal fans.
The day began with strong gains for Charlie and Sam, but really just for Charlie. He was up ENORMOUSLY. Sam said, "No, I was up around .5%." (Charlie was up 1.7% at one point.)
Mike was unable to capitalize on this morning's boom. His portfolio has suffered today, as has Marvin's, despite some early gains.
Newcomer Lily Roberts entered the fray hoping to emulate mother Meg Roberts's strategy. Execution was poor; her downfall proved to be purchasing stocks, a stupid move her mother refuses to make. The Blog would like to highlight her choice of Harley Davidson as one of those stocks. The Blog's official stance on this purchase: interesting.
The Turtle has weathered today's storm, thus far. He has transformed himself into a tortoise, slowly and steadily heading towards first place. But in order to do so, he'll have to surpass Meg "The Rock" Roberts! The Blog believes this Rolling Stone is gathering no loss.
Will the Hares catch the Tortoise? Will "The Rock" continue to roll towards victory? Will Lily ride her chopper to success? Will Marvin live up to his name? Finally, and most importantly, can The Blog continue to churn out such a brilliant mix of metaphore, simile, allusion and platitudes!? The pundits say "NO" but the unbiased Blog says, "Yes, yes, yes!"
The suspense is almost unBEARable! Get it?
So stay tuned avid readers, because we'll be back soon and the answers to your questions lie just around the bend...
Today's endorsements:
Charlie: Kevin Federline
Sam: Abigail Breslin
Meg: Bob Dylan, Mick Jagger, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, etc.
Mike: Robert Downey Jr.
Lily: Arnold Schwarzenagger
Steven: Jerry Ferrara
Marvin: Marvin the Martian***
*** We looked to get Marvin Schwartz's endorsement for Marvin. However, he refused. Mr. Schwartz would like it to be made abundantly clear that he does not endorse or support the Marvin of this game in any way, shape or form.
The day began with strong gains for Charlie and Sam, but really just for Charlie. He was up ENORMOUSLY. Sam said, "No, I was up around .5%." (Charlie was up 1.7% at one point.)
Mike was unable to capitalize on this morning's boom. His portfolio has suffered today, as has Marvin's, despite some early gains.
Newcomer Lily Roberts entered the fray hoping to emulate mother Meg Roberts's strategy. Execution was poor; her downfall proved to be purchasing stocks, a stupid move her mother refuses to make. The Blog would like to highlight her choice of Harley Davidson as one of those stocks. The Blog's official stance on this purchase: interesting.
The Turtle has weathered today's storm, thus far. He has transformed himself into a tortoise, slowly and steadily heading towards first place. But in order to do so, he'll have to surpass Meg "The Rock" Roberts! The Blog believes this Rolling Stone is gathering no loss.
Will the Hares catch the Tortoise? Will "The Rock" continue to roll towards victory? Will Lily ride her chopper to success? Will Marvin live up to his name? Finally, and most importantly, can The Blog continue to churn out such a brilliant mix of metaphore, simile, allusion and platitudes!? The pundits say "NO" but the unbiased Blog says, "Yes, yes, yes!"
The suspense is almost unBEARable! Get it?
So stay tuned avid readers, because we'll be back soon and the answers to your questions lie just around the bend...
Today's endorsements:
Charlie: Kevin Federline
Sam: Abigail Breslin
Meg: Bob Dylan, Mick Jagger, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, etc.
Mike: Robert Downey Jr.
Lily: Arnold Schwarzenagger
Steven: Jerry Ferrara
Marvin: Marvin the Martian***
*** We looked to get Marvin Schwartz's endorsement for Marvin. However, he refused. Mr. Schwartz would like it to be made abundantly clear that he does not endorse or support the Marvin of this game in any way, shape or form.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Market Improves and Tides Turn
As day 2 closes, so does Meg's good fortune. Her strategy, previously described by the AP as "brilliant" and "passive-aggressive," has since been criticized as overly tentative. As a result, while Meg's portfolio was stagnant at $100,000, Sam rode Apple's 7.19 increase to the top of the leaderboard. Wowzers!
Charlie's ingenious management led him to end the day above $100,000, hot on Sam's heels.
Mike came in last place, but seems unphased. In a recent interview, he said, "The game is young and time is on my side. [I'm a winner and I practice investing money 11 hours a day. So I can't possibly lose.]"
In other news, Marvin (the investor formerly known as "Ben") found a striking correlation between men and women named Marvin and financial success and has thus changed his name. The Blog would like to officially wish this strategy something it will definitely need... a shit ton of luck.
Steven's strategy, named by pundits as the "Turtle Method," may pay off in the long run. However, success evaded the Turtle today. Steven ended the day down .12%. Perhaps he shouldn't have invested his money at all!
Today's endorsements include:
Sam: Steve Jobs, Peter Lynch
Steven: Aesop
Meg: Lily Roberts
Marvin: George W. Bush
Mike: Tiger Woods
Charlie: Osi Umenyiora
Charlie's ingenious management led him to end the day above $100,000, hot on Sam's heels.
Mike came in last place, but seems unphased. In a recent interview, he said, "The game is young and time is on my side. [I'm a winner and I practice investing money 11 hours a day. So I can't possibly lose.]"
In other news, Marvin (the investor formerly known as "Ben") found a striking correlation between men and women named Marvin and financial success and has thus changed his name. The Blog would like to officially wish this strategy something it will definitely need... a shit ton of luck.
Steven's strategy, named by pundits as the "Turtle Method," may pay off in the long run. However, success evaded the Turtle today. Steven ended the day down .12%. Perhaps he shouldn't have invested his money at all!
Today's endorsements include:
Sam: Steve Jobs, Peter Lynch
Steven: Aesop
Meg: Lily Roberts
Marvin: George W. Bush
Mike: Tiger Woods
Charlie: Osi Umenyiora
Day Two
From nytimes.com, as sent in by Charlie:
Two Days in, Surprise Leader
-Associated Press
New York, NY. After a long and tumultuous two days of the Roberts Wolfson Stock Challenge, Meg Roberts, a latecomer to the game, finds herself with a commanding lead. In a shocking twist of fate, seasoned money managers Ben, Mike and Steven suffer enormous losses in bear market. Meg describes her brilliant investing strategy as, "brilliant, competitive, passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, consistent, dominant, controlled, balanced, and really just far better than yours." She hopes to donate her vast lack of losses to charity.
When asked to comment, Marvin Schwartz said, "I also knew she was smart, but I didn't realize how stupid the rest were. I mean, they did put give their money to me for all those years. I guess that was Dot, who clearly would have just mirrored my portfolio. I'm up 7,000 points over the last three minutes. Vote McCain!"
Two Days in, Surprise Leader
-Associated Press
New York, NY. After a long and tumultuous two days of the Roberts Wolfson Stock Challenge, Meg Roberts, a latecomer to the game, finds herself with a commanding lead. In a shocking twist of fate, seasoned money managers Ben, Mike and Steven suffer enormous losses in bear market. Meg describes her brilliant investing strategy as, "brilliant, competitive, passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, consistent, dominant, controlled, balanced, and really just far better than yours." She hopes to donate her vast lack of losses to charity.
When asked to comment, Marvin Schwartz said, "I also knew she was smart, but I didn't realize how stupid the rest were. I mean, they did put give their money to me for all those years. I guess that was Dot, who clearly would have just mirrored my portfolio. I'm up 7,000 points over the last three minutes. Vote McCain!"
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