The market took a sharp turn for the something today. Profits, winnings, success and net worth increased for some and decreased for others. The some were the Roberts. The others were the Wolfsons. The women were Lily and Meg, for whom forks in the road are merely cutlery.
As we all know, investing is not an exact science. However, when polled, nine out of ten scientist randomly selected from a variety of fields ranging from entymology to astrophysics (and including Wrigley Field) agreed that Marvin's portfolio was, at 12:31, down 7.89%. 100% of polled scientists agreed that Marvin will need to try harder. Further studies disproved the existence of any correlation between the investment skillz possessed by Marvin and his namesake, Marvin Schwartz. The National Enquirer reports that these studies have been funded by Mr. Schwartz in an effort to distance himself from the Marvin of this game. The Blog, however, doubts the integrity of the National Enquirer's sources, since they are, in fact, The Blog. (The Blog may or may not have maybe not, but maybe, made up the above statistics.)
The Turtle/Tortoise seems to have fallen on its shell. But The Blog is confident that he will find his way back to his feet shortly. This is because his feet are quite large, and therefore, the odds suggest a favorable outcome. 60% of the time he will land on his feet. They're just that big. (The other 40% of the time he is rumored to land on his nose.)
The investor formerly, and still, known as Mike is far too closely related to Marvin for his own good. His alleged genius has clearly been sabotaged. The Blog has nothing to do with said sabotage and is currently researching the saboteur. (The Blog suspects Lily.)
Hot rod Lily controls her position in second place with gusto. Her crawl to last place is slow enough that she may not make it in just six months. She's currently moving to extend the game. Her determination is unparalleled. Keep going Lily!
Sam's portfolio is the clear winner today. The Blog is confused by this. He spends too much time reading and thinking to be a good Republican investor. Marvin is even more perplexed than the blog.
That's all for now, you know you love The Blog, XOXO,
GOSSIP BLOG
Today's endorsements:
Meg: Glacier National Park
Lily: The Blog!
Charlie: John Kerry
Sam: The Nasdaq
Marvin: Starvin' Marvin
Steven: Splinter
Mike: J. Edgar Hoover
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